I wish someone had told me that it is okay not to be okay…

“I wish someone had told me” is a series of posts that feed into our inquisitive nature at CN&CO. Each week we hear from someone in our network about something interesting or surprising that’s recently happened or occurred to them – or lessons they learnt. These blogs are a way to pay it forward and form part of CN&CO’s belief that the world can be a better place – and we all have a responsibility to make it so. This week’s post is by Llewellyn du Plessis.

In difficult times we tell one another that “It will all be okay” and we say this because we can’t find any other word in that moment.

It will all be fine. It will be okay. Everything will work out in the end.

These are all statements we commonly share with the people in our lives. They might be true and will be relevant to you no matter where you stand in life, but in that moment of despair these words might hurt more than anything.

We all have some trauma to deal with, difficult relationships, economical problems, just to name a few. Each person also sees each obstacle in their lives differently and reacts in different ways. When you say that “everything will be okay” you might come across as not interested or not understanding to that particular person.

We live in such an uncertain world with thousands of people losing their jobs, losing family members to the virus, and many world-wide struggle with severe anxiety and depression. It is time that we take the step to try and understand each others challenges without using a rehearsed line of “It will all be okay…”

The reality is that it might not be okay! But how we stand together and be there for one another might impact the severity of it all.

Take time today to think of another line to replace the “It will all be okay” lines in your day to day life. Here are a couple of suggestions:

Instead tell someone that you see their pain.

It takes a lot of courage to comfort a friend or family member with words and assuring them that all will be okay. Take time to understand the person’s pain and give them all your love and support and assure them that it is okay for everything to not be okay at this moment.

Tell someone that they are stronger than they think they are

Getting out of bed can already be a challenge before even starting your day. We get caught in difficult situations where we can’t see a way out. In these times a friend’s reassurance of your strength can make a world’s difference. Tell the person how strong they are and that a step backwards might just bring them more clarity.

Tell someone that they are not alone

Family, friends and partners are they only people in our lives that can get us through difficult times with their love and support. It makes the weight of any problem so much more bearable. Rather than telling someone that all will be okay, tell them that they are not alone and that they can rely on your support no matter what.

Show your love

Love can get us through anything. If you know that you have support from the people in your life and that they love you, that will help you navigate through any problem. Show the people around you that you love them. Be there for them during the difficult times and that in the end, will mean so much more to the person going through a tough time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope that it might have shifted your way of thinking and that you can clearly see now that it is okay for everything not to be okay.

Stay strong and cherish the relationships you have with the people around you. We all make mistakes and sometimes struggle to stand up straight, but with the relationships we build we can get through any obstacle in our life.