I wish someone had told me all the pros and cons of screen time

“I wish someone had told me” is a series of posts that feed into our inquisitive nature at CN&CO. Each week we hear from someone in our network about something interesting or surprising that’s recently happened or occurred to them – or lessons they learnt. These blogs are a way to pay it forward and form part of CN&CO’s belief that the world can be a better place – and we all have a responsibility to make it so. This week’s post is by Josie Dougall and is about her struggle with the benefits versus the disadvantages of social media and screen time.

Being a working mum, means I can’t help but be on my device in front of my daughter frequently. These little ones are like sponges so while amusing when she drops the occasional “oh God” or “shit”, it really makes me feel like a bad mum when she is constantly reaching for my phone and having a little tantrum when I won’t let her have it. I have read so many reports on the effects of screen time on the young developing brain. I have read reports on how it negatively affects even those my age. So I am constantly trying to balance time inside my own head and thoughts, with time on my clients’ social media accounts, and responding to mails and growing my own social media community. It has left me feeling on the whole negative towards social media in general.

And then last Friday my 76-year-old uncle with Parkinson’s and Dementia went missing. He took off from Howick at 1.30pm on Friday in my aunt’s red Suzuki, licence plate MOD 1, with nothing but R300 in his pocket. Due to his rapidly declining health he has not been permitted to drive himself for the past few months.

We checked hospitals, police stations, surrounding farms. There were search parties and community groups all jumping to assist. After 24 hours with no sign of David, we started getting really concerned for his safety.

A few friends and family started to post on Facebook. Alerts, pictures and updates about David’s whereabouts. A post I put up at 10am on Saturday was shared around 200 times by Sunday morning. According to Facebook the average user has 155 friends. So that means approximately 31 000 people could have been exposed to my post – and that’s not taking into account the number of people who shared from the share.

David was found! At 7.30pm on Saturday, at a petrol station in Orkney, 535 km away from home – hungry, exhausted and confused – David was spotted by a young man who had seen the Facebook post and alerted his mother. She then approached my uncle and took him to the local police station. From there my aunt was alerted straight away and huge relief set in across the family.

So… social media: friend or foe? Well, I think it has its moments either way.

I try to limit my time and make sure I give myself enough “me-time” – time when nothing is happening, like when I am in a queue, or waiting for a meeting, or sitting at home on the sofa – when I don’t default to social media, and allow my brain the freedom to wander the halls of its own temple.

And as a mum, I try to do as much as possible with my daughter that stimulates her love for nature, and free play, and textures, and books. I try not to be too obsessive about screen time. She loves watching Hakuna Matata on YouTube, and together we watch “tata” a few times a week. And on Saturday mornings when it’s stupidly early and we really still feel like lazing in bed, we let her watch her “teepee” (TV).

I won’t get it right all the time, but I will keep on trying. And if anyone ever goes missing again I will take huge comfort in the role social media can play to help find them.